Yoga Pants Life

I love running – it’s been my main form of exercise and stress relief for years now. Growing up, I hated running (or any kind of physical activity that didn’t involve making out, for that matter) so it’s still a bit shocking that I love it so much now.

That being said, I have a terrible relationship with the long run (I define ‘long’ as anything over 6 miles.) I never get it quite right. I’m always having stomach issues, knee pain, am tired or dehydrated. In fact, I’m sitting here blogging because I’m procrastinating on my long run. I have no idea how I’m going to accomplish 2 half-marathons in spring and a full in October. I’m almost never like this for my short runs – short runs are a breeze and I feel like when I’m consistent, I can see progress in my speed and stamina…but that feeling eludes me on the long run.

Of course you might be thinking ‘then why bother with half-marathons and full marathons if you hate the long run?’ because let’s be real – long runs are the hallmark of any distance training plan. The thing is, I love the events themselves (even if I sometimes bonk) and training for something gives me purpose and helps me stay on track (for shorter runs, anyway.) I end up being a couch potato for weeks at a time when I don’t have a purpose.

When I was training for the New York City Marathon in 2011, I looked forward to my long runs. Sure, getting up early was hard and I really struggled on some of those runs (and I was slow. Like, really really slow.) But those long runs gave me a purpose in life when I was depressed and living in a world of darkness.  I have no doubt that running saved my life in a sense (of course, once it was over, I really fell into an extreme deep depression that lasted for a few months.)

I’m not sure what happened between then and now. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs since then, but over all, life is better these days. So, I’m not sure why I’m giving up on my long runs before I even give myself the chance to start.

I’m trying not to up too much pressure on myself today. It’s just a run. It’s not a big deal. I start when I start and I finish when I finish.  Pace doesn’t matter, just do it. I have cold beer in the fridge at home. I can treat myself to a really good meal afterwards. None of it is working. I already feel down about today’s run and I’m not even out the door.

There’s really nothing left to say and nothing left to do besides walk out the door and get started. I think I’m going to leave the Garmin behind and just see how far I can go. I feel pretty shitty about all of this right now, but sitting here doing nothing isn’t helping either…so here goes nothing.